Alone? Or lonely in a crowd?

My name is Delee D'Arcy and I am a Marriage & Family Therapist. I am honored to have been working professionally for over 15 years with individuals and couples as they almost literally struggle to create a better - different - relationship. In this blog, my goal is to process thoughts and observations in order to become a better relational therapist. I truly want to help people have deeper, more meaningful relationships with one another. I have seen so many over the years that come in from discontent about the depth of their relationships. I see men's confusion about 'what to do' to please their spouse; I see women's frustration and fatigue related to all that we do in relationships.

This blog is NOT about blame. There is too little time for blame and since so many have focused on blaming another and then failed to change anything, let's not go there! The very definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over with an expectation that things will be different or changed. And, if we search for blame then I will have to blame your parents, their parents and so on. And, if and when your children or grandchildren come to me or another therapist, the blam would then be assigned to you also. In my mind, this is a useless waste of time. Let's focus on somethng more positive, something more productive. In this moment, I'm not sure where this will lead but I am hopeful that something good comes from it!

Now, as a Family Therapist, I DO look at patterns in relationships. I AM interested in how you learned to be in relationship. I AM interested in how you are impacting your children's (and grandchildren's) view of how one IS in relationships.

I am also aware that I come at this writing from the position of being a woman in the world. In the therapy room I am very conscious of both men and women and what each brings to the relationship. I will strive very hard in this blog to challenge both genders to consider how they are and how they can or want to be in relationship with others. I am looking forward to the process of considering how I can become a better woman in relationship as well as becoming a better therapist to my clients who seek my guidance and support.